What a difference three months makes... in many ways. The more obvious ways of measuring the changes and milestones we've been through over the last 14 weeks is of course in the way Rory has grown. Check these out...
The less obvious ways to measure are the changes in Peter and I, and our confidence at being parents and even husband & wife with a child. We're all doing really well. I am not sure what has happened in the last couple of weeks but like I said earlier, we're hitting some sort of stride as a family. There have been many "moments" over the last three months, moments of pure joy and happiness, moments of laughter and awe, but without a doubt there also have been moments of doubt, sadness, loneliness and uncertainty about our new life and what the future would bring. Anyway, they say you quickly forget about the first three months, not sure I will, but if I do... I have this post. They in many ways were without a doubt some of the best and most significant moments of my life, and they also at times flat out sucked. Looking back now, I wouldn't change a thing. I love this kid inside and out and our lives wouldn't be complete without him. Cheers to the roller-coaster of love and emotion it is to be new parents, and a new mom. And Happy three month birthday Rory. We love you lots.
One day short of his 3 month birthday and our little guy officially has SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!! Once. And counting. :) Last night we put Rory down at 9pm after his bath and feeding (later than typical because we had been out with a friend for dinner) and he didn't wake up until 5:00AM!!! He fed, and then he went back down until 7:30AM?!!! I know, I can hardly believe it myself. It's been a funny week, Rory is definitely giving us cues that he is growing, developing, ready to eat more, and now last night... (cross your fingers it's not a fluke) sleep through the night. Hooray! Of course... Peter and I didn't sleep through the night. I think I was up and in his room three times over the course of the evening. Coincidentally, I reminded Rory of a conversation we had a few weeks back yesterday. He loves ceiling fans, and I told him that when he starts sleeping through the night, we would buy him one. Now... this doesn't just involve changing a light fixture. His room doesn't even have a light fixture, so it involves an electrician coming to do some work here. Who knows, maybe motivational bribes work on 3-month olds after all. Whatever works! Anyway, guess who is delighted to be shopping for a light fixture for Rory's room this weekend!
It's 9am on the nose and my son has already peed on me and had such a monstrous poo that I have had to BATH him for the same reason for the SECOND day in a row. (maybe he just likes two baths a day?) And he did it all with the huge laughs and grins that he gives us almost all day long these days. As revolting as it was to be literally hosing my child down, I couldn't help but laugh at him. Then I poured myself my 4th cup of coffee. Without milk this time. So what did you do before 9am?
Things have been going really well for us these days (knock on wood). We're approaching the three month mark on Thursday of this week and just like everyone said, we're definitely hitting some sort of milestone. Rory's schedule and sleep is getting more predictable and we're even getting some consistency in his 5 or now even 6 hour intervals (ok, the 6 hour sleep has only happened once, but here's hoping). We seem to be hitting a comfortable stride as a family, Rory is all laughs and smiles and is starting to do little person things, and the best part is, we're getting out a lot more and perhaps starting to feel a bit more like ourselves. Whatever that means.
Last weekend I started going through all of Rory's clothes to pull out and pack up things that no longer fit him and it made me a bit sad... but we also found a couple of beauties that I forgot we had and so this week, I am dressing Rory up in them to make sure they get worn at least once. Check out this kimono style onzie. Rory puked on it within 20 minutes of this picture, so clearly not his fav. And he wasn't a big fan of the skinny leg jogging pants either. Those I made him wear all day though.
The only other thing we're focused on right now, is tummy time. Rory doesn't love being on his tummy so we're finding all kinds of creative ways for him to build those neck muscles. I am not one to play along with the pressure people put on babies these days to be the most gifted or most developed baby on the block, I am of the school of thought that babies should be left to be babies, but sitting up and learning to roll seems like way more fun than just laying on your back? So... we're doing what we can to at least give him the strength should he choose to do it one day. We've started a rotation of different things (in lieu of just being placed on his tummy) and now Rory's head is up and at em', just like that. :) If only my baby weight would come off, just.like.that. Anyway, happy Tuesday!
Despite us being all a bit under the weather, I ventured out this week to my very first mom's group. I will be honest, I wasn't sure if I was going to go right up until I went. I don't know why, but I was nervous. Nervous that I wouldn't like it, nervous that I wouldn't fit in, nervous that I would have nothing to share, and nervous that all the moms would be different from me and be the "I love absolutely everything about being a new mom, and my baby is so perfect and gifted, and everything is so AMAZING, and breastfeeding is so special and such a bonding experience and I had a total zen and natural birth" type of mom. Believe me, they are out there. I have met them, and they scare me. Anyway off we went, sniffles and all, and I have to tell you... I LOVED every minute of it. I didn't want to leave. I don't know why I was so hesitant. I enjoy talking to my mom girlfriends so much about all that is new to life with a baby, why would these women be any different?
So, there are 16 of us in my group and yesterday we spent two hours sharing a little bit about ourselves, our baby, our birthing story, and some of the most rewarding and challenging things about being new moms/parents. All I can tell you is how amazing, rewarding, relieving and helpful mom to mom talk can be. As each woman spoke of their birthing story, their eyes welled with tears, everyone had a story. It really is a right of passage of sorts...knowing what you thought you knew about parenting or being a mom or birthing a baby but realize actually you didn't know it at all, after your baby arrives. Unexpected complications, emergency c-sections, breach babies, water/home birth plans gone awry, babies with colic, babies that don't sleep, babies that will only sleep ON their mom, premature complications, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US had breastfeeding challenges. And the other most refreshing thing I heard was each one of us is struggling to redefine who we are now that we are moms. We made a list as a group of things we want to talk about over our 6 weeks together and also things we would like to do with our babies. The time is sort of divided in half... half spent on a discussion we're all interested in, and the other spent learning new games/songs/activities to do with our babies. So fun.
Anyway, today I just feel fortunate. Fortunate to live in a city where there are so many resources for moms and also fortunate that I have a baby that talked himself to sleep in his crib just a short hour ago. It made me love him just that much more today. :)
So somewhere between Almonte and Toronto, Rory has picked up his first little virus. It breaks my heart to see the little guy not feeling so hot. He is congested and from the sounds of it, is having a hard time breathing. Oh, and he has a bit of baby diarrhea. To be honest, I think it's making me and Peter more sad than it is making him. The good news is, he doesn't have a fever and after a quick trip to our pediatrician this morning his throat, chest and ears are fine too. I felt a little silly today at the doctor's office. She literally spent like 5 minutes with us (albeit a thorough examination). When she finished checking Rory out and thankfully reporting that nothing really seems to be out of sorts with him besides his more obvious symptoms, I really did feel like a new mom. Should we have brought him in? I mean, I knew he didn't have a fever... but he definitely isn't himself. So, better safe than sorry right?
I am sure this is the first of many moments of uncertainty we will have as we make our way through the rookieness of being new parents and dealing with our children's health concerns. It's all a bit overwhelming, but certainly reassuring to know that we have professionals close by and accessible to help confirm our little guy is just fine. So, one good thing that did come out of this is I spent some time getting myself familiar with our local pharmacist and baby isle of our local Shoppers Drugmart. Wow... things have come a long way since we were little and had colds. A warm bath and some Vicks on our feet and a kiss from mom used to cure what ailed us. Our children can be treated with the likes of Portable Vapor Vans (Picture one of those scented plug-ins for your wall socket), but this one is like the smallest vaporizer you have ever seen, plugs into your wall and gives off soothing vapours through out the night and has sort of a cherry-eucalyptus smell. Or how about a soothing aroma vapor bath made by Johnson & Johnson (no tears, no less). It basically smells like you're taking a bath in cough drops. And... yes, if all else fells, Vick's even makes a BABY rub that is safe to rub on your little one's feet and chest, just like mom used to.
Rory is peacefully sleeping off his virus in his crib upstairs as I type... let's hope we have a peaceful night. Maybe I should have picked up some Nyquil for ma and pa? Or whiskey.
Check these out....Rory LOVED the vapor bath and the Vick's seemed to help too. I have learned I am a sucker for a promise of soothing and sleep. .None of it helped him sleep mind you.
It's been a busy hot summer so we're taking this long weekend to ourselves, just the three of us, to unplug and RELAX. Rory has had a great week, he's a totally different baby from last week. He is sleeping well (comparatively), and seems much happier. I am reading yet another book on sleep and even though every book I read says something different, the one thing that made the most sense to me this week was - that "sleep begets sleep" meaning, good naps = good night time sleep. This week, Rory has slept WAY more for me during the day, which has resulted in some great nights of 4 hour intervals of straight/solid sleep for all of us. And while I know that it could be all different next week, I feel that much better about everything. Like I understand more. As soon as I decided to let this kid sleep where he wanted to sleep and stop forcing the crib during the day, he all of the sudden has slept better, longer and has been MUCH happier. Which contradicts some of the other stuff I have read such as "Start as you mean to go", or "sleep should be patterned and quiet, not in a moving car, or on a couch, or in a swing or stroller". Anyway, my friend Josie called me Friday at such an appropriate moment... coming off of a week where I felt I had learned a little about my baby and what he was trying to tell me, she reinforced it with some of her own feelings and experiences and learning's that week and passed on this little bit of awesome wisdom. There are no bad habits in the first four months. You should have seen the smile that brought to my face. I love that moms share. The good and the bad. It makes this so much easier and fun.
We had my niece and nephew here for a whirlwind visit this week Wed-Friday. I still can't get over how much these two have grown. It all happens so quickly.
And speaking of growing... look at this little guy. Getting so big!
We're off to Almonte for our last wedding of the season and another extended visit. Can't wait. Until then...
Happy Long Weekend! Here's to a restful and safe weekend for everyone! XO
We got Rory's proofs back from our first baby shoot last night. A little impromptu, but we think they turned out great!! What's unbelievable is how much Rory has grown since we had these taken... this shoot was only a month ago. It hit home the fact that these moments are passing in front of our eyes. These little ones are little only for short glimpses. It made me really enjoy my day with my little boy today, and hopefully all my days as we watch him grow and learn. Rory is giving us huge smiles and laughs now, we can't wait to get some fantastic shots of the family this fall.
And just when I was about to get even more mellow dramatic about our precious child that never sleeps.... we seem (knock on wood) to be rounding some sort of corner. Rory slept for FIVE HOURS straight on Saturday night. He hasn't done it again since, but we're averaging 3.5 and even 4 hours last night... so getting better. He even went down for a nap this morning?! We have a big week ahead, Steph's bringing her kids down and then we're heading back to Almonte after the long weekend for another extended visit and a wedding... Almonte is a place I can not get enough of these days. I have never missed Almonte, my family and all my girlfriends more than I do now that I have a baby. One day.... Until then, get a load of these cheeks....
Today, I need a stiff drink. Nope, I am not even going to sugar coat it. I am exhausted. An exhaustion that only 12 hours of straight sleep or a double vodka and soda are going to cure. Guess which of those options is even remotely within the realm of possibility? TGIF. Cocktail hour is officially upon us.
So... here's the thing, for the most part Rory is a pretty good sleeper at night. He is still getting up every 3-4 hours but usually he goes straight back to sleep for me. Then we have nights like our last one. He was up every 90 minutes. It was crazy. And I wouldn't even mind it so much if he slept AT ALL for me during the day... but this little guy likes his cat naps. And if I DARE try to put him in his crib during the day he makes a mockery of the situation by LAUGHING into the monitor mere minutes, sometimes seconds after I lay his head to rest.
So... I have quit trying to put him to bed during the day. I let the kid sleep wherever he pleases. Yup, I know what you're thinking and you're right. I need the baby whisperer. But until then, this kid stays put where his last eye closes.
Here is this weeks daytime sleep (rather - catnap) montage. What a guy.
At a healthy 10lbs. Can you believe it? Our last doctor's appointment was only 5 weeks ago and Rory weighed 6lbs 5 oz, now is he a very healthy 10lbs. I was shocked. I even asked if that was too much weight for him to have gained so fast. But our new and fabulous pediatrician (we switched Rory's doctor because his first one was useless), told me that he is "perfect" (I am quite sure she tells all parents that, but she had me at perfect), and that coming up into the 25th percentile for weight was excellent at this stage given he was considered full term at 37 1/2 weeks (so not pre-mature) but small and babies generally stay within the same percentile they were born into, which wouldn't have been great in Rory's case for weight. Oh, and he is 23 inches which apparently puts him into the 50th percentile for height. So... I can finally relax, our "little" guy is catching up to the other babies his age. Hooray!!!
And I was worried he wasn't growing!!!! Tomorrow is our 2 month dr. appointment where Rory and his thighs will have an official weigh in. I will report back on the verdict. I am guessing 9lbs. Looking at the difference one month makes has me a bit sad... I was SO anxious for him to grow at first because everyone was so worried about his small size, and now I want him to stay this size forever. Being a mom is so tough. :)
Yesterday was a great day...Rory and I travelled out to Markham to see friends of the family- the Hick's and had a great visit. It reaffirmed my desire to connect with more moms, to get out of the house more, and once again made me appreciate family and valley ties.
This morning Rory took a rare nap from 730am-10:15am and I was able to get a ton done, including a great chat with my mom, a shower, the dishes, a fridge clean out, a grocery list and a load of laundry! Call me Martha.
So... all to say it still surprises me that every day can be so different as a new mom. One minute Rory and I are competing for size and quantity of tears, and the next a friend sends a picture like this from a quick impromptu living room shoot and I am the happiest and most smitten mom on the block.
We're planning a full family shoot for the fall with our friend Heather Lynch when the weather is cooler (it also happens to be our favourite season), and completely appropriate for our Autumn Surprise don't you think? Stay tuned for those...
There are two truths you learn after having a baby. Motherhood ain't easy, and neither is taking off the baby weight. Well... for some it is, but not when you're like me and spent eight and a half months paying homage to your two favourite food groups - nachos and cupcakes. Not.even.kidding.
Anyway, it's been a while since I have felt like, or had time to blog. It's been a busy month with lots of trips and milestones for our little family. We have attended not one, but TWO out of town weddings (one in which I was the emcee this past weekend - I know, I am crazy), we have spent a long weekend on lake erie, we have celebrated my 31st and champagne birthday, we have met all the Shaughnessy's at a family BBQ and also the entire extended Byrne family at a very large family reunion. It's been busy. Very busy.
So how are things going? Here's the truth in two parts. First, things are going really well. We love our little guy to pieces, he makes us smile and laugh every day, he is changing our lives for the better and he is a REALLY good baby. Did you read that list of stuff we have done? He would have to be a pretty good baby for us to have made it through all of it pretty unscathed. Well... with the exception of a diaper EXPLOSION in Perth on the way to the valley. But we're not talking about that. One thing is clear, Rory HATES Perth.
This boy is REALLY growing! I can't wait for his 2 month doctors appointment next week to find out what he weighs. I am SURE he has to be over 8lbs now. Maybe even pushing 9. He just feels SO big to me all of the sudden. He is starting to give us those huge smiles that melt your heart, the chatter that makes you laugh and want to talk with him all day long and he will even turn his head to look when we enter a room. He knows his ma and pa and we love that.
So what's part two? Here is the thing. This ain't easy. The calmness I felt in the first few weeks of Rory's life sometimes gets replaced by anxiousness, irritation, sadness, confusion and fear. Being a new mom is a roller-coaster of emotion I never imagined. In one moment you can be so filled with love you want to burst, and in the very next if given the chance you're sure you could beat Ben Johnson in a foot race to the front door. Then there is the guilt and worry you're not doing enough. The comparison you and everyone else makes to other babies of the same age. The questions... "are you doing this with your baby", or "are you going to do that with your baby". When did being a baby and growing every day stop being enough for a newborn?? You know, I even contribute to it by the amount of reading I do. Well.... it's time to take the pressure off and find some of myself buried beneath the weight of being a new mom, and hopefully take some of my baby weight off in the process. All three of us will be happier because of it.
So, in case you haven't read between the lines, I had a MAJOR moment this week. Rory was super "off" after our time in Almonte and as he was adjusting to being back here...we had a very rough Sunday night and Monday together. Read - Rory didn't sleep well and cried/didn't sleep most of the day on Monday. When Peter got home I was ready to put the house up for sale and.... actually that is as far as the plan got. Anyway, today was a MUCH better day. I tried Rory early this morning in his baby Bjorn carrier and he loved it. And so do I. We got out for a great walk before 10am and even got most of the errands done in the process. But here is the thing, I don't want to have many more days as intensely off as I/we felt on Monday.
So, here's the plan or sort of my realization. I am a MAJOR part of this equilibrium. Rory and Peter both feed off of my energy, my emotions, my happiness. So I need to do a few things for me, to be able to give back to them. I need to get out more, so I am joining a mom's group beginning in September, twice a week I am going to get out of the house to do a INTENSE spin work out at my favourite spinning gym. I did one tonight and I am a brand new woman and once Rory hits the 3 month mark, we're going to start swimming lessons together. It's amazing what a little bit of what the old me used to do injected into my life, makes me feel sain again. Like magic. I wish eating cupcakes made me feel as good as spinning does. I am sure I am going to add a few more things as we go, like a music class or something, but I think that's enough for now. I also tend to over commit. I have so much to work on....
Anyway, Here's a new picture take on the play mat today, he likes it for the first time this week. Look at these chubby cheeks...
You know what I did this morning? I ate a bowl of cereal, drank a cup of coffee, answered a phone call from my mom, went to the bathroom, had a bit more coffee, had a shower, and then answered some emails. All in the same 45 minutes. Uninterrupted. Who's life is this? What happened to my harried mornings with a newborn that sleeps less and less as he grows? Let me introduce you to my new favourite toy. It swings (at 5 different speeds) and plays a variety of white noise music or some baby appropriate lullabies. A swing that I have affectionately named "Saving Mom's Sanity Swing". So, a few months back, in anticipation of the arrival of our little one and after the completion of our new home, my older sister was all too happy to clear out her basement of the discarded baby gear that her own children have grown out of, and send it our way. My mom cleaned it all up, and it arrived here into our basement in a heap of colourful toys, seats, springs and even short musical interludes if you kicked or moved one of the pieces by accident when you walked by.
This little gem was rescued from the baby entertainment rubble downstairs recently, and we finally figured out how to set up last night (not without the obligatory tense moments and terse words that are customary for setting up any child's toy mind you). Anyway, Rory LOVES it. Hooray!! Rory gets some swinging stimulation and I get a shower. Win win if you ask me. I wonder what else is in the basement? Truth be told, as a new mom I worry all the time about stimulating Rory enough. His shelf life is about 20 minutes for tummy time, then we play kick and exercise with my help, he then plays in his baby seat with some attention getting toys, and NOW the piece that seems to be winning out over all - this glorious swing. He's a bit small yet, but we're making it work. It's a happy day.
It's hard to believe a month has already come and gone in my new life as a mom. It really seems like just yesterday (like a whole 9 1/2 months) that Peter and I were married and a baby was a distant future thought. haha. What a year! Anyway, so far... being a mom is awesome. Some how its everything and nothing I expected it to be all at the same time. Rory makes us laugh, makes us cry (sometimes because we're happy, and admittedly sometimes because mommy is tired) and really just has completely changed our lives for the better. Its amazing how someone so small can have such a quick and profound effect on your values and priorities as a couple... not to mention a schedule, the ability to do things spontaneously, alcohol tolerance, bladder control, whats strewn across your living room floor and coffee table, the frequency of laundry loads, what you spend your time reading and googling, your ability to function on limited or no sleep and of course the subject of your smiles and chatter with just about everyone.
So... what do I feel I know today that I didn't before June 23rd? Well, most importantly that we have been blessed with a wonderfully good baby. He is happy 80% of the time, the other 20% he spends smiling or telling us what he needs with a short cry... like food, a diaper change, a change in scenery, a cuddle, or some sleep. That the love I felt for Rory in the delivery room doesn't compare to how I felt on day two, or day three, or day four, or at his one month etc etc. Our love really does grow and get stronger everyday as Rory has become a member of our family. What else do I know? Well, no matter what anyone tells you none of it is easy, and its all harder than it looks (i.e. breast feeding, knowing whats right and whats wrong and when, who to listen to when you get conflicting professional opinions, and making choices that will impact a life that is not your own forever). What else? Babys give your relationship a lot of uncharted rocky roads to travel so having a strong one before a baby arrives worked to our favor, being a new mom there is no one that has provided more comfort and reassurance and peace of mind than my own mom, that strangers and loved ones alike give far too much advice to new moms and regardless of how good, bad, important or useless the information is... if you're like me you will need to or want to, figure it out on your own anyway. And finally that being a parent is handsdown the most rewarding thing I have ever done and that having a healthy baby is really all a parent can ask for.
We have had a busy month that was marked by a wonderful three week babymoon that Peter was off for and and an 8 (or 9) day visit from my mom, and our first major event (a Cobourg wedding) on the weekend. As July winds down, we are looking forward to our debut in Almonte on the 5th of August to meet the valley friends and family and for Adam & Kelly's wedding.!
Finally here is what is on my mind today; enjoying your life right now, today. The one thing that is constantly on my mind is how far I am from my family and that I want Rory to grow up with the same values and experiences that Peter and I had in small towns vs this big city. Anyway, I got this today from a friend and and it was a good reminder for me that life is so short... that goals and lists of things you want to do will always be there and while it's important to be ambitious with goals and having a vision of what you want your future to look like is key, that it's also important to be present in the life you're living today. To enjoy the moments you're experiencing now. So that is what I am doing today... enjoying these precious moments with my newborn that I know will be gone before I know it.
Well... the babymoon has officially ended. Peter went back to work on Monday and Rory and I have started our playcation (what we are calling our summer of mat leave together). Day 1.5 and we're doing very well!! We made it out for a big walk yesterday, we had time to do some house work and make dinner for daddy, and most importantly we had lots of time to play.
Our little guy is GROWING! Well I think he is anyway, he is eating NON-STOP, in fact sometimes I feel like that is all I do... breastfeed. We just finish and we start again. But eating is a good thing and we're excited to see how much Rory has grown next week at our doctor's appointment. So, other than feeling like a milk machine...literally, I don't have much to tell you. A three week babymoon did wonders for us all. I did have a "moment" the other night though. Peter suggested on Friday evening that maybe I would like to get out of the house and go for a walk on my own. After a quick think about it (Rory had just been fed and was sleeping very peacefully), I then couldn't get into my work out gear and out the door fast enough! Off I went with my ipod in hand, and I didn't even make it to the neighboring street before my eyes welled up with tears. It had been a long time since I could walk that fast, or that far, and it had been 2 1/2 weeks since I had done ANYTHING for even a MINUTE on my own. I walked and walked and walked while listening to my favourite running and work out music from last summer. It reminded me of the days, weeks and months leading up to our wedding. Which made me happy. We've come a long way in the 9 months following our wedding. Anyway the walk did wonders for me, it made me feel like me again. Something I hadn't felt in a long time. It reinforced the working plan Peter and I have (albeit sometimes easier said than done with a newborn) to incorporate Rory into our lives and lifestyle vs. us fitting into his. Yeah check back with me in a bit to see how that's working out for us!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Today our little bundle of love is two weeks old. It’s really hard to believe. Hard to believe still that I am a mom, that Peter is a dad, and that we have a son. But also hard to imagine our lives without this little guy now too. I am nervous to put this out there given every time I told you things were going exceptionally well when I was pregnant they would head south quickly… but things are going really well. I didn’t think I would adjust to being a mom so easily, or so quickly, but I have, we have. And I love it. We love it. Our little family two weeks in, has faired extremely well. Knock on wood.
Our biggest concern these days is making sure Rory is eating well. And he is! This week at his weigh in we were delighted to find out he has gained back his birth weight and some… he will be a strapping young lad in no time. Breastfeeding has also been going well (knock on wood again), sure there are challenging moments… like how hot and gross it is right now, and believe me when I tell you that skin to skin contact just isn’t that precious when the humidex is above 43 degrees. Or the sorting out of supply and demand so I am not in a constant state of throbbing soreness… but all the little challenges seem so insignificant when we look at this little guy. He won’t be this little forever, so we are savoring every moment. And as much as I want to see him grow and gain weight, I also want these moments of our babymoon with just the three of us to last forever.
Speaking of babymoon, we’re in the home stretch. Peter heads back to work on Monday of next week. I well up with tears at the thought of it. Like as I am typing now. I would love to keep the three of us in the little perfect babymoon cocoon we have been living in forever. To sleep as we wish, to eat healthy, to have time to talk and to laugh, to take long walks, to run errands as we please and of course to stare at our baby as he grows and changes by the day. It’s been wonderful. So as the babymoon winds down, Rory and I are winding up our “playcation”. In other words, making playdates to keep us socializing (and mommy not too lonely that she gets sad).
So as we celebrate the first two weeks of Rory’s life, here are a few new pictures to share with you. Yeah, he knows how to give thumbs up already. Smart kid.
It’s hard to believe that an entire week has gone by since the surprise early arrival of our little guy. The hours and days seem to fly by, as we all get to know each other and bond as a family. But Rory is indeed officially one week old as of yesterday and on the celebration of his first, and our first Canada Day as a family… I thought it was time to send out an update!!
Most of you know our how it ended up that we delivered 2 ½ weeks early story, but in case you don’t, here are the details in brief.
On Monday of last week, I went to the outpatient clinic at Mount Sinai to have my blood pressure checked as a scheduled visit. It was high, as was the protein in my urine but I wasn’t feeling bad so the nurse let me leave comforted by the fact I had an appointment with my obstetrician on that Wednesday. She did warn me though as I was leaving that at the first sign of a headache, blurry vision or a host of other symptoms to come back to the hospital immediately. That night I got a headache. A headache that became more persistent over night and by 630am the next day, had moved behind my right eye. So… having had the fear of god put in me, I woke Peter and told him we should go into the hospital for a quick visit. As I went about getting ready to go in, Peter started packing his bag for a hospital stay and grabbing the one my mom and I had prepared for me and the baby. It NEVER occurred to me we would be staying. I even laughed at Peter, and told him not to bother that we would not be staying. I even wore a DRESS to the hospital. If I had any idea of what was to come in the next 72 hours, I would not have worn a DRESS to the hospital.
We were seen immediately at Mount Sinai by a wonderful team that gave us fantastic care the entire time we were there. And after blood and urine work had been returned to them a duo doctor and resident team came to talk to Peter and me in our triage room. They told us that the work they had just gotten back, confirmed I had the signs and symptoms of pre-eclampsia. She walked us through the results and what that meant in terms of my health and then dropped this bomb-shell, “I think it’s time to get things moving. We would like to start inducing you”. Which I responded, “you mean like today?” I am quite sure I have never been that shocked. The next 5-10 minutes were spent listening to her explain what was going to happen next, through tears and many questions about the safety of the baby through what I felt was too early of an induction. She assured me that at 37 weeks a baby is considered “term” and fully developed, and when a baby is term and mom is sick the benefits of keeping baby in (to put on a bit more weight) doesn’t out weight getting baby out to help mom feel better. Crazy.
So… there you have it. Peter and I took a few moments to gather our thoughts about giving birth ASAP and then I think we called my mom. It was the only thing I could think of to do. I think it was the first thing I said. “Peter, I think we should call my mom”.
So things progressed rather slowly from there. The labour and delivery of Mount Sinai was CRAZY busy on Tuesday. Multiple sets of twins, lots of high risk babies being born early, and a lot of people being induced for various reasons. So what that all meant for us was… a wait. A long wait before they did anything. Typically when you are induced they actually let you go home because it can be a lengthy process. Because of my blood pressure they couldn’t let me go home, thus the wait. They needed to make sure they had the staff to monitor me once they started to induce. So finally at 10pm on Tuesday night, I was given my first gel (to thin my cervix) and another at 5am the next morning. By 7am, my water broke on its own and timing is sort of a blur from there as what had been a long drawn out hospital stay already, started to get a lot busier and full of action. The next several hours are a blur of awful contractions made longer, more frequent and more intense by the drugs they give you when they induce, the sound of the constant music and massage support from Peter and my mom and then finally the epidural. Then…honestly, out came Rory!! And I am not kidding. It literally felt like I had JUST gotten the epidural, was checked, told I was 9cm dilated and to PUSH. And then the nurse yelled to stop pushing because they baby was coming and she needed a doctor?!!!! So in came the doctor in a rush, and out came Rory. Literally.
NINE GLORIOUS MINUTES of pushing later, and our precious baby was in our arms.
I sort of cried when I first held him. But I think I was mostly in shock and in awe that he was really here, and that it was over, and that I had a baby, and that my mom and Peter were there, and that I had a baby. It wasn’t until the second night in the hospital that I think the emotion over came me. I was up by myself, Rory and Peter were both sound asleep and tears just started streaming down my face without me evening knowing it. I was a mom. I had given birth. I wasn’t pregnant anymore. Peter was by my side and our baby was healthy and so beautiful. And despite being sore, I felt better than I had in months. I was just so happy.
Since then… things have been going extremely well. Peter and I both seem more calm and relaxed right now than we have been for months. Ironic really. We’re sleepy, but we’re both here, we’re totally in love with our little boy and Rory is just so amazing. He’s eating well, he is sleeping well (well, he sleeps like any newborn) and he only really cries when he wants something; Like to be fed, or changed or held. I am sure it could all change in the blink of an eye, but 7 days in I can tell you that this little family is doing so great. Meet Rory James Shaughnessy, the love of our lives. Literally.
You know those moments when you’re sitting and trying to think of the last few days of your life, and place what happened on what day? I am having one of those moments where when I try to think about it, the last several days just all blend together. But there are significant highlights to mention. The first, is the beautiful shower my Toronto girls gave me last week and was graciously hosted and gorgeously prepared by my friend Kathleen. It was an evening of cocktails, yummy food, hilarious stories of giving birth (the good, the bad, and the things that haunt my sleep), and wonderful and very useful gifts for our much anticipated arrival. I am surrounded by wonderful women here in Toronto, and it’s reassuring that I have these incredible women to lean on for a question, or a walk, or a laugh and a cry, should I need it when our little one arrives. Thank you ladies for a beautiful evening.
My mom was also here this weekend with one MAJOR goal... To get us ready to welcome our little guy. With this seemingly “small” task, came with it a TO DO LIST as long as my arm. I am SO SO SO happy to tell you that we made it through all the major to dos and I can safely tell you that if this baby comes today, we’re ready. (as ready as we’re ever going to be). So what did we get up to?? Well, given when my mom arrived we hadn’t even been in our house for a week, there was the typical organizing and sorting and unpacking to help with. We made so much progress on Friday night that it looked like a different place when the three of us finally sat down to eat some dinner at 9pm. So in terms of the baby to dos, we spent the weekend making our way through the following; we bought and installed our car seat (can we talk about how weird it is to have a CAR SEAT in the back of your car for the first time knowing soon there is going to be A BABY, YOUR BABY in it?), we organized, wash and sorted all of the babies clothing, we packed a hospital bag for both me and the baby, we washed and set up the bedding in the crib and in the basinet , we organized the change table and made sure I had all I needed, we hung pictures in the baby’s room, we shopped for any last necessities, AND we finished painting, staining and antiquing the highboy for the baby’s room! Hooray!! Whew, what a relief!! I wouldn’t have gotten 1/4 of that done without my mom’s help. Thank you mom for being with us this weekend and putting so much love and energy into the final details we needed to feel ready. Knowing you have been here and have placed the baby’s things with such love makes me feel like you’re here all the time.
Sunday (father’s day) my dad arrived into Toronto to pick my mom up (bless his heart for driving all the way here on a Sunday, and father’s day no less). He helped us sort our some furniture in the basement, make a trip to IKEA and Home Depot and also install a much needed handrail for the wall going up our stairs. Yeah!!
It’s really hard to believe we have only been here for a week. I am proud of the work we have done and have promised myself, Peter, my doctor and now my mom that I will TRY and relax now. Peter and I need it. What isn’t done will eventually get done, but does not NEED to get done today, or tomorrow or before the weekend. I will keep repeating it to myself until I believe it. After the last year, not making a mental to do list the moment I sit down is something I actually need to work on. You see, this is why having a baby might just be easy for me. You can laugh. I know I am delusional.
So welcome to my official slowdown. Just in time for our official count down. Two or so weeks away (cross your fingers that my blood pressure check today goes well). We can’t wait to introduce our little man to all of you.
So, I have officially been put on unofficial mat leave. Irony at it’s best. Six months into this pregnancy hearing the words “ you need to stop working” would have been like a dream. But hearing them from my doctor’s mouth this morning you know what I did? I cried. My blood pressure is too high. Consistently too high for a few weeks now. It needs to come down or I need to be INDUCED.
C-R-A-P.
Ok, so I hear you now, all of you, it’s officially time to slow this show down a bit.
So as my eyes well up, she tells me that all her other patients WANT to be off work, and she tells me, and I CRY about it. So what is my issue? I don’t know. Let’s not start counting them ok. Maybe things that just don’t go as I have planned make me cry, or maybe it’s partly that I do feel good, and I am actually really enjoying work right now so it’s sad I have to go early, or maybe she scared me a bit. Probably the latter. I guess the last several weeks have caught up to me. Stress has a weird way of telling your body when enough is enough. At least in my experience. So, it’s time. Time to take a load off and put my feet up. Right after I finish this print shoot I am at today.
In all seriousness, tomorrow AM I have a meeting with HR to talk about everything and also with my boss to sort out how to transition my work to my team in a way that doesn’t totally reek havoc for them in the shortest amount of time possible. I know, I am so important eh? Not at all, we're just short staffed. So I guess the point is making the “official unofficial” actually official as soon as possible. Eeeeeek. Next week is the G20 summit, so I will likely do it from my couch. Commuting in downtown Toronto next week is going to be terrible anyway.
So there you have it. I am in official wind down. Doctor’s orders. Mom is coming down tomorrow for the weekend to help me sort out the baby stuff (thank god).
I heard chocolate and Oprah is good for high blood pressure.
Yeah, no guff. I happen to be wearing a lime green dress today and caught my side profile in a store window as a waddled by to get some lunch. WOW. This baby may be the size of a watermelon, but I am the size of a whale. Today, a green whale. Peter ran the bathtub for me the other night... bless his heart there was even bubble bath and lit candles. Anyway, I don't what came over me but I started to sing baby beluga. I don't even know the words but it seemed appropriate. I am huge. There is no other way to describe how I look or feel but like a massive whale.
Oh, and I don't mean for you to feel sorry for me. It's more of a warning for those of you who haven't seen me in a while. Prepare your facial expressions in advance. :)
So on a related note, my client's wife who is due the same week as me went into labour this morning and had her baby an hour ago. It sort of hit home that this seriously could happen any day now. We had better get a car seat and pack for the hospital.
PS. I put heels on this morning when I heard that she went into labour. It reduced my anxiety about it. Somewhere in my complicated brain it seems to make sense if I can still wear heels, I can't possibly be close to having a baby.
What a weekend... I am too exhausted to blog. But it's Monday, and I am way too exhausted to work, so blogging it is. I am incredibly happy and relieved to tell you that we’re finally in our new home. Saturday was moving day and for the most part, it went incredibly smooth. Our movers even arrived hours earlier than expected, so we were settled well before planned. Thank goodness for that.
True to our style these days, Sunday we actually had booked ourselves in a FULL DAY pre-natal class. You know, because moving isn’t enough to do in one weekend. So Sunday morning Peter and I headed out with MASSIVE coffees in hand to join 6 other couples in an 8 hour interactive course on the tidal wave they call a “first born” that is about to hit our lives in a few short weeks. All in all, I think it was worth the time and the money. It was a long but relaxing day for Peter and I, and it gave us the time to focus on important things like bringing a child into the world and our own personal health and well-being vs. our to do list. It also made me realize and really appreciate that we’re a happy couple and that we have a really good relationship. Not in comparison to others, but in ways in which we communicate with each other naturally. I actually remembered feeling that way in our marriage prep course too. Judging by the series of events we saw in those birthing videos (they made me cry), communicating will come in handy in the next few weeks. :)
We’re exhausted, we’re relieved, but perhaps most importantly we’re SO happy. We’re in the house now, so this baby is more than welcome to make his entrance whenever he pleases. Despite the 100 boxes left to unpack, the house already feels like home, so now we just wait for the final piece of the puzzle.
So I have reached a point in my pregnancy where I have to go to the doctor every week for a wee chat and check up. 36 weeks and counting!! Today's visit was fairly uneventful with the exception of some surprise blood work and the ask to collect my urine for 24 hours this weekend and return it to the hospital on Monday. Apparently my protein is rather high. And I have to keep it in the fridge. Our new fridge. yuk. It's probably going to be the first thing in our new fridge, which actually makes it sort of funny.
Honestly, if I was a betting girl I would have told you they should be checking my sugar levels. It's all I crave these days. I would have a smoothie for every meal if I wouldn't feel like a terrible mother-to-be doing it.
Anyway, I am having a good friday otherwise. I am actually really really enjoying work right now. I think leaving on such a positive note will make it easier to come back in 10 months, that's for sure. Oh, in case I didn't mention it... I am taking 10 months, and Peter is taking 2 months of parental leave. Unless the weather is unreasonably nice next May. Then I have saved the right to change my mind of course.
Anyway, tomorrow is moving day. Bleh. I am trying to focus on what's to come so I don't get too stressed about the packing, the move and the unpacking I have ahead of me. So... thus the title and today's inspiration. Something to look forward to this summer with the girls.
Looking forward to updating you after the move. Have a great weekend.
xoxox
