Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Trusting your instincts

You don't immediately have them when you become a new parent. But sometime over the first year of parenting; amidst the diaper changes, sleep scheduling, baths, bottles, solids, crawling, talking and walking... something happens to you. You hit a groove. You get your parenting mojo so to be speak.   You stop questioning every single thing you do. Is this right, is that wrong, am I a bad parent? Should I be doing it like that?  And why does it seem like my kid is the only one not sleeping?

Magically,  one day it's like you wake up one morning with the confidence that the first months of being a new parent is so void of. And best of all, your natural instincts start to kick in.

You know what to do before you even really have to think about it.

I don't really know when it happened to us, but I do remember saying at some point to Peter... "things just seem easier these days. I know our baby. I get it. I feel like a good mom". Powerful words from someone that on many occasions uttered... "I am not sure I can do this".

So here's the thing... Once you're there, you gotta trust it.  Trust your gut, and trust your instincts. These "feelings" are without a doubt the most powerful gift that is bestowed on parents to help raise our children and keep them out of harms way.

So, remember back when we were in decision turmoil of where to send Rory to daycare?  I was torn between a home daycare in my neighborhood where all my friends babies (and Rory's little friends) were going, and the very well run/structured run daycare right in Peter's office building?

Today the home daycare we were so VERY VERY close to sending Rory to, was SHUT DOWN by the ministry. Apparently they were/are in violation of a number of laws in the Nursery Day Care Act.

I won't even get into the ugliness that unfolded today at that daycare. But it's sad. So very sad.  25 children played there today, and tomorrow it will sit empty.  I don't even want to know what happened. The point is, it's done.

From the very beginning I had suspicions this daycare had too many registered kids, and far too little space. I over looked a lot of that detail because I desperately wanted Rory to have his little friends by his side when he made his transition.  And there was also something very comforting about having the moms that I have become so close to over this year, in it together with me. Something happened right around the time we got the call from the other daycare that changed everything for us.   It was big enough of a "thing" we couldn't go back. Once you cross the line of questioning your child's well-being with childcare. Get out. There is no going back over that line.

Anyway, my point is... childcare is so tough. It's hard putting your trust in strangers to care for your child. Your baby. All we have as parents are the instincts that grow over time that tell us in our hearts what is right, and what is wrong.  When your spidy senses go up... it's probably for good reason.   Spend the time checking it out. Sure changing day-cares or nannys is a pain in the ass, but the alternatives are much worse.

Anyway, I feel sad tonight for all the people who are now without a job and even more so for the parents in dire straits where to send their kids tomorrow.  This is when having a back up plan is so good right?  But who is that organized? Or lucky enough to have grandparents close.

On an unrelated note... can you believe last year at this exact time I was in LABOUR?!!!


 Our little Mozart.  
Oh and he's getting a haircut tomorrow. As our birthday present. Because Hockey season is over.

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