Friday, June 3, 2011

A mom and dad role reversal

As week one of Peter’s paternity leave and week two of me being back on the job comes to an end, I have been getting a lot of questions about how we are all fairing?

Comci Comca mes amis.

Comci... Comca

In all honesty, albeit a bit tired (we're all getting used to the first of many changes coming our way). This role reversal has already been SUPER good for Peter and I.  I would recommend it for any dual working parent - nuclear family. For a couple of reasons.

(1) Going back to work from mat leave is HARD. Especially after close to a year of being away from work. (Regardless of what you did before you were a mom).  And leaving your child with dad while you acclimatize to getting showered, dressed and fed in the morning again, let alone the roles and responsibilities of your job and interacting with people all day, is WAY easier than trying to do that AND do the daycare/nanny transition all at once.

(2) You really have no idea what it’s like to be a working parent, until you are one.  For eleven months I sat anxiously on our couch, desperately awaiting my husband’s return from work. Often, our child was shoved into his arms before the door was even fully open.  I won’t lie, a couple of times when a quick bathroom trip was requested before parental duties were passed, I was irritated.  You all know what I am talking about. When Daddy gets home, it’s daddy’s turn.

The truth is, its SUPER hard to be the hero parent for three hours a day.  You parent your ass off for the time you get with your children and that is hard. I really forgot how tired you are at the end of a working day. Sure there is no baby hanging off me or crying in my ear.  And I don’t have to change diapers at work, or make someone else’s lunch. No one has puked on me here. Yet. And yeah, I can walk to Starbucks by myself, eat lunch when I am hungry and pee when I have to. But... I am sorry to admit, all these months contrary to my own opinion, Peter has been JUST as tired as me.  

Sorry daddy... I am so SO glad you have these days with Rory now.

And, sorry mat leave mommy friends.  I feel like I just exposed a dirty little mom secret. But it’s true.

And vise versa, I think Peter is getting some first hand experience with a day in the life of a mom, and just how different/exhausting a day with a child under one can be. Some days you feel like you can do anything and everything is amazing, and the next day a tooth pops through, or naps get missed and ordering a pizza come 6pm is too much work. In fact, all you really have energy for is pouring a glass of wine. Or two.

Anyway, all is good in our world. Rory and daddy are loving their days together.  I miss them like crazy all day long, but it's so fun to hear their stories when I get home from work.  Rory is all about daddy these days, and they have had good weather all week to make the most out of the splash pads and parks near our house.

Lucky boys.


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