Thursday, March 10, 2011

On the move

I've been getting super sentimental lately. I will catch myself in these moments of laughter at something Rory is doing and then the notion of returning to work hits me like a ton of bricks. In a few months I won't get to crawl around on my belly with my little boy as he explores our living room. It makes me sad to think about it. Sad and nervous.

I honestly didn't expect to love my maternity leave this much. In fact, in those early days I didn't think I would last the first 6 months.  It hasn't been easy. There have been hard and super lonely days, and it was a lot of work creating the wonderful network of mommy friends that I have today. And probably the biggest hurdle of all, was letting go of my own expectations of the career girl that I have always pictured myself being. It's almost like I had to give myself permission to embrace my year with Rory. And to just be a mom.

Regardless of how I got here, I love every single day that I am home with this kid. I really do love being a mom.  Yesterday, as we sat just laughing at each other on the floor, I did something that I think us as new moms don't do enough of. Silently in my head, I commended myself for the job we have done with Rory so far.  If the purpose of a year of maternity leave is to nurture your child into a young person that is ready for the outside world without you, I am pretty happy where we are netting out these days. I think Rory is going to be just fine in a few months time when I go back to work. Better than fine.

Which means I will be too.

Until then, we get to spend rainy days like today doing ridiculous things like playing in the mirror together. This is where being a mom is pretty freaking awesome.

And the next thing to conquer....