Monday, March 26, 2012

No sign of baby

Well, short of castor oil and standing on my head... I've tried it all. Cleaning on my hands and knees, eating very spicy food, sex, massage therapy, aggressive vacuuming, lengthy walks, running in my backyard with Rory, jumping, more cleaning, bath tub shaving cirque de soleil (don't ask), and of course the really lovely membrane sweep offered at my doctor's office at 38 and 39 weeks (worst thing ever). And absolutely NOTHING is making this baby budge.  I am doing all of this while I apparently continue to dilate and have contractions (for two weeks now), and am told at each check up by my doctor "any day". What a BRUTAL tease... I wish I could tell you how many plans I have cancelled or put off because I've thought this kid was coming TODAY.   That's what "any day" means right? It is supposed to mean TODAY!

Anyway, after another long night of what I thought was back labour (that's how things got rolling with Rory), I am accepting that this baby definitely has it's own agenda for birth, and he/she is sticking to it. I will just wait it out from here on in.  I am doing nothing by make my back ache and exhausting myself.  I even went on a 30 minute bike ride yesterday afternoon, much to the shock of most of my family and probably the greater part of the town of Almonte who may have caught a glimpse of it.  Dear God. Enough is enough.

And the odd thing if I really think about it is, as ready as I am to NOT be pregnant... there is a big part of me that is nervous about what is about to happen to our lives.  Is it ok to admit that?  I am nervous about three becoming four and being able to make it great.  I worry about how to do it all, and still be an awesome mom to TWO kids, and make things great for Peter.  I know it's silly... but I find myself doing odd things in the last week or so. Like watching Rory sleep. Or wanting to cuddle with him just a little longer before bed. I think to myself every night "this could be the last time I say good night to Rory that he is a single child".   Silly isn't it.

Anyway, I really do hope the next time you hear from me it will be announcing the birth of our second child. I also really hope the baby pool that Peter's office did is wrong... All of their chosen dates are WELL into April.  God help us all.


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