Monday, December 19, 2011

It was a Silent Night

Peter and Rory are tucked safely into the Ottawa Valley to begin the Christmas Holidays, and I am going to join them later this week. They left yesterday afternoon and from the sounds of it, Rory is already having a great time with his cousins and his gram and grumps. I am here until Thursday doing a mad dash to the end at work, and finishing up/starting most of our Christmas prep and shopping.

Am I a bad mother if I tell you that this is the best Christmas present my own mother could have given me?

Because I am going to be frank here... after being alone in the city with Rory for two weeks (with the exception of weekends);  That’s 10 mornings and 10 nights of getting Rory and myself dressed and out the door to work/daycare, and home again in one piece, only to start the race to get dinner on the table before the ‘melt down witching hour’ hits.  That is 10 days of bath-time and bed-time on my own, one morning of projectile vomit from a daycare mishap, and 48 hours of vomit and a whole lot of other not-pretty stuff from a flu.  Let’s throw in prepping to host two different parties on one of the weekends in between, and baking for a Christmas cookie exchange in there too. Oh and two obstetrician visits (one planned, one not) just because they are so awesome. So all to say, I need this.

And I won’t even tell you what work has been like. Because frankly, at this point, who cares. You get the point.

Honestly, If only you could drink while pregnant.  Judge if you will. I am a good mom, I can take it. And, I am not talking about the one glass of wine they say doesn’t matter either. Because who cares about the first glass. It’s the second and the third that really relieves the stress.  If I wasn’t pregnant, two weeks of hard work wouldn’t even PHASE me.  But lugging around a huge belly, emotional as all hell from hormones, insanely over scheduled  at work, and with a kid very much missing the “fun” parent...  A bottle of my favourite red wine really may have helped. Oh well.

Anyway, by Friday of last week I was done. So done that I can’t even begin to explain the depths of my done. I was ready to cancel Christmas, cancel work, cancel moving, cancel everything.  I was officially Scrooge and I really didn’t think anything was going to change my mood.

Then my husband arrived on Friday night, and slowly brought me back from my ledge and helped our somewhat under the weather little family have a quiet and cozy weekend together.  Rory napped his weekend away as he slept off his flu bug, and know what Peter and I did? We napped right along with him.  I NEVER have done the whole sleep when the baby sleeps stuff. My brain just doesn’t turn off that easily... Too much to do, always.

So after a super restful weekend... If you can picture a sanity meter, mine was registering again by Sunday morning.  What an incredible man I have. Patient, kind, funny, handsome, patient, patient, and super patient.

So how am I going to spend 4 nights on my own?  Let me count the ways. :)  I am still figuring that out, but I WILL make the most of them. I feel like I deserve this time.  And after not even 24 hours and the first solid sleep I have had in 6 1/2 months,  I already feel like I am going to arrive home to my family smiling and merry and completely excited to smother their faces in Christmas love.  In truth, I miss them already.

A girl at work today even compliment how I looked. No one has done that in months. Several months.  That has got to say something?

Until then,  I am ok admitting that every mom, whether she admits it or not, needs/can benefit from time to herself.  Time to recharge, time to take a shower that’s longer than 5 minutes and  time to drink a full cup of uninterrupted coffee.  It doesn’t mean that I love my family any less than you love yours,  in fact, it makes me feel like I love them even more.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas, I know we will !!

Rory taking it all in at my sister's place last night.
Dancing with his cousin Jenna via her Karaoke machine (Jenna apparently danced out of frame)

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