Back to sleep basics - via mom to mom

An old high school friend dropped in this week for a little visit with her two boys, and we had such a great catch up. Albeit short... and having three kids (and two pregnant bellies) to compete with, I think we managed a nice visit. Lisa is pregnant with her THIRD baby, and is already a mom to two super cute little fellas (Owen 4.5 and Liam 2).  Her calmness is inspiring. My neurosis over being "ready" for two definitely seemed a bit ridiculous after our time together.

Anyway, we obviously got to talking about our current sleeping challenges with Rory, and a few other lovely stages we're hitting as my child approaches the TWO milestone.  I'll be honest, I felt RELIEVED and refreshed with courage about this sleep stuff when she left.  Relieved in the sense that boys definitely are different than little girls at almost every age, and that she went through the exact "stage" we're going through with Rory right now with her boys. And refreshed with courage about Rory's sleep because she reminded me of a few important things that got me thinking.

I've spent a ton of time reading about sleep in the last two years. And fluke or not, I thought we had set Rory up for sleep success early on.  I did and didn't do things purposely to create good sleep routines for all of us...sometimes hard things... and at 21 months I have completely abandoned every single one of them.

My conversation with Lisa reminded me of something important. Sometimes, most of the time, babies and kids are just better left to sort things out on their own. So we're going back to basics. I re-read a sleep book that I used to follow like a text book today.  The book basically sticks to a few key principles -

1.  We are the parents, which means WE are in charge here.
2.  That the golden rule of sleep for babies and kids generally means the LESS parent interference the better.
3.  There are a few important things you can do to help your kid sleep through the night.  (1) Make sure they're tired/have gotten lots of exercise and fresh air during the day, (2) Make sure their room is quiet, (3) have a consistent bed-time routine that relaxes them before bed. (4) Teach/let them learn how to self sooth

In recent weeks, it's number two we're the most guilty of. In an effort to get our child to sleep again, we've being doing it all. I have broken every single rule of "good sleep" out there.  We've being going to Rory multiple times a night,  I have fed him through the night, we have changed the place he was put to bed - so he is waking somewhere different, we've brought him into bed with us, we have gone into his room and slept with him... the list goes on. And on.

So... today I went out and bought two fans. One for our room, and one for Rory's, and we're going back at it the hard way. The hard way, but the only way it's worked for us in the past, and the only way the experts seem to agree it's going to work for us again.  Rory is going to need to figure his sleep schedule out himself, and eventually he WILL do it.  In the meantime, the fans and the white noise will help alleviate some of the anxiety I get when I hear him for hours at night... and hopefully our broken sleep as well.

Wish us luck.

OH! And nursing chair update!!!  As of Friday (cross your fingers) I am going to be the very EXCITED and PROUD new owner of my very own Monte Luca glider.  I got a great tip from my sister in law that Monte often sells their floor models and seconds and was able to get a great deal on one for myself. HOORAY! It should be here by the end of week. Happy nursing days are ahead. I can just feel it. HA.

What happened to my sleeping child?

I’ve admitted it before.  If baby sleep is a spectrum, we safely landed on the good to great end of it with Rory.  We struggled in the first three months like all new parents do, but by the three month marker (like to the day) our little man was sleeping through the night (from 9pm to 7am) and making most other moms want to scratch my eyes out.

Well, if any of you are still harbouring any baby sleep animosity about how good we really had it, let me officially put that to bed for you. We are having MAJOR toddler sleep issues, and at 7.5 months pregnant and a mother already...  I can honestly say I have never been this tired in my life, and I have no idea what to do about it. I am losing (what is left of ) my mind.

So here’s the skinny. The only thing skinny right now. :) Our bath/book/bed routine hasn’t changed, Rory is napping well at daycare, they tell me he’s super happy at daycare and I can see that when I pick him up, he’s getting tons of fresh air, he is eating well, he is drinking enough, he is happy at night before bed – I JUST DON’T GET IT.    I would love to blame it on all the changes that are swirling around, but the truth is, he’s been doing this for a few months now. Maybe since about 14-15 months so that really can’t be it.

So here is what is happening, it’s pretty simple.  We put him to bed awake around 7ish. He chats for a bit in bed and usually is asleep by 730.   That part is great.   What happens is he wakes up in the middle of the night, maybe around 11, sometimes around 1am, sometimes it's 2am, and he just starts playing in his crib.  He laughs, he talks, he sometimes jumps, he basically parties in his bed.   And he is LOUD.   It’s almost impossible to sleep while he is carrying on. Mostly because I am worried he will stay up all night, which he has done TWICE already.   ALL NIGHT!!!!   He’s 18 months!?? How is that even possible???

I asked our doctor about all of this at Rory’s 18 month check up, and she shrugged and told me to ignore him. “Shut your door, don’t go to him, and he will eventually go back to sleep”.  The thing is, I don’t actually think he cares if we go into his room or not. He’s not crying, he’s not calling for us,  he has his blanket and soother, he is not asking for milk, or to be rocked, or even to be picked up... he is PARTYING.  Most nights he is having way too much fun to be bothered with a visit from his ma or pa to tell him to quiet down.  He just says “Hiya”, or tells us to “Shush” or says “Night Night” when we come in.  I know – cheeky little child I have.

So here’s the thing I’ve noticed recently that I am wondering about... More than a few times now I have gone in and he is actually lying down with his eyes closed. He seems asleep. At first I thought maybe I had been hearing things and he wasn’t talking but then I get back to my bed and it starts again, then I thought he is just trying to fake me out and pretend he is sleeping?  But now I think that some of the talking and laughing MIGHT just actually be in his sleep?? Is that possible???  Last night this went on from 1030pm to 230am?  I am a WRECK.  And he woke up with a HUGE smile on his face?    So I guess I need to do some research, is it really possible that this is sleep talking?  Could this be some weird state of REM where he actually is getting sleep/rest?  Because if not, there is no way a kid his age can be functioning as well as he is on such little sleep. I know I am barely functioning and I am just listening to it!!

HELP!